Dear Congress,
If you are here to serve the American people, then could I get some Moo Shu Porkbarrel to go? Specifically, I think you should legislate the creation of -- *not* a Super Collider -- but a Supper Collider. It is high time that Americans witness suppers colliding against suppers at high rates of speed. In times of stress, we know that the zebra will lie down with the horse, the magician will stow our money in revolving coconut halves, and you, Dear Congress, will attend psychotherapy. When shown an inkblot in the shape of a dollar sign, you will think "Quorum", and who'd blame you? When shown an inkblot in the shape of a Quorum, you will think of a buffet table festooned with cutlets and sterno. Privy to the heartbeat of the voter and to each member the finest privy. Prithee dost though pride thee in the privacy of the primate? And if so, when the coconut halves are be-stilled, and upturned by the venerable hand, rather than just seeing empty coconut halves, that our money is vapor, we are handed a bill for empty coconut halves, we must pay for the very device that has looted our security, Dear Congress. But your pensions are safe, so no need to dip down to our level, what I'll call Basic Every Day.
Yrs, Constituent
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