tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-62478914873732088372023-11-15T08:41:45.257-08:00Dear CongressDAN / DANIEL GUTSTEINhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11440571794661801261noreply@blogger.comBlogger38125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6247891487373208837.post-64836926784189814222011-04-30T17:15:00.000-07:002011-04-30T17:15:39.342-07:00NaPoWriMo Sonnet #30Dear Congress,<br />
<br />
You will short shit the sheets again<br />
<em>mes amis</em> <br />
so long as there is "Tomorrow" <br />
& sheets<br />
& dookie in yr vowels //<br />
Mr. Peacock threatens to fire up<br />
his scraper box <br />
he says, "I'm uh fryer up<br />
mah scraper box, Worm"<br />
"The Worm" is his son in-law & unlikable //<br />
Tomorrow, <em>mes amis</em><br />
I could write 30 letters<br />
re: yr failings in the face of Everyday sitch<br />
or Tomorrow I could write no letters at all //<br />
<br />
Yrs, ConstituentDAN / DANIEL GUTSTEINhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11440571794661801261noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6247891487373208837.post-72750033926570060512011-04-29T09:39:00.000-07:002011-04-29T09:39:33.110-07:00NaPoWriMo Sonnet #29Dear Congress,<br />
<br />
I didn't give you The Chili Pepper at<br />
Rate My Congress dot com b/c<br />
you're not "hot" exactly<br />
you're stagnant & inert<br />
so I clicked on The Festering Swamp<br />
you have several ratings of Festering Swamp &<br />
half a dozen friend requests from<br />
Radicalized Air Biscuit, Lincoln, Neb. //<br />
I went to Rate My Athletic Supporter dot com &<br />
commented "itchy & pinchy &<br />
elasticky but emphasizes my Massive Cock"<br />
I rated my athletic supporter Four Bulges out of<br />
Five Bulges b/c my support Matters<br />
how about some support that Matters, y'all? //<br />
<br />
Yrs, ConstituentDAN / DANIEL GUTSTEINhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11440571794661801261noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6247891487373208837.post-90567998817195640632011-04-28T08:26:00.000-07:002011-04-28T08:26:21.274-07:00NaPoWriMo Sonnet #28Dear Congress,<br />
<br />
How many Americans does it take to blow cocaine up<br />
Stevie Nicks's butt? one to blow the powder, yes<br />
(through $100 bill, neti pot, twisty straw?) &<br />
one to spread her ass cheeks -- how does that work?<br />
maybe someone to hold her hand or coo sweet nothings <br />
hey, is Stevie Nicks hiring? the Stevie Nicks economy blooms!<br />
sought: Must Lift Heavy Shit, Jack of All Trades, Roadie<br />
w/ prev. exper. w/ Blowing Cocaine Up the Butt Helpful //<br />
Talk about Data Recovery talk about Database Hygiene<br />
talk about Data Cluster talk about Data Entry<br />
talk about Data Modelling talk about Data Networks<br />
leads to a Buggering -- where else would it lead? &<br />
would you please stop fecking around w/ the votive candles<br />
or pretend it's Stevie Nicks's butt & blow them out! //<br />
<br />
Yrs, ConstituentDAN / DANIEL GUTSTEINhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11440571794661801261noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6247891487373208837.post-54948066078226732182011-04-27T06:53:00.000-07:002011-04-27T06:53:12.344-07:00NaPoWriMo Sonnet #27Dear Congress,<br />
<br />
There is Global Warming & there is Personal Warming &<br />
no, I do not mean orgy lotions & whatnot<br />
I mean that body temperatures are soaring "Like Never Before"<br />
such that we require an Act by Y'all to re-establish some Norms --<br />
like, 99.2 might be a start, but if we leave it alone & do nuttin'<br />
people are gonna get to winning awards: Hottest Analyst in America &<br />
hottest HVAC Tech in America & hottest Accountancy Temp in America<br />
because their temperatures would be Warming, Duh! //<br />
At the same time, this will decrease fevers &<br />
lead to fewer sick days, hence a little Two-for-One, there<br />
Raise the National Body Temperature & Increase Efficiency -- O,<br />
there's a Nobel Prize in the wind for your Dumb Asses<br />
Puttin' America To Work! Movin' Forward into the 21st Century!<br />
at 99.2 degrees Personal Body Fahrenheit & Climbing! //<br />
<br />
Yrs, ConstituentDAN / DANIEL GUTSTEINhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11440571794661801261noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6247891487373208837.post-53005807448462430062011-04-26T08:08:00.000-07:002011-04-26T08:08:41.816-07:00NaPoWriMo Sonnet #26Dear Congress,<br />
<br />
The Quality of Garnish has dwindled (big time) <br />
the pretzel garnished w/ turnip! &<br />
we may <em>not</em> eject the turnip from the rooftop <br />
the server & bartender wag their fingers <br />
it's either the shame, thus, of Leftover Turnip or<br />
chancing it with Ejection of Turnip but<br />
either way it's the Quality of Garnish in deficit <br />
shitty Sprig of Parsley adorning Shank of Lamb //<br />
<em>The Shanking of the Lambs</em> (feature flick)<br />
is not about casual prison encounters but<br />
Garnish in Crisis -- Lambs & Garnish in crisis &<br />
how Garnish is wasteful in America whereas<br />
in other cultures, Garnish is exalted -- it ain't just<br />
any old thing bejeweling the Special Tibs, yo //<br />
<br />
Yrs, ConstituentDAN / DANIEL GUTSTEINhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11440571794661801261noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6247891487373208837.post-29564806752992522412011-04-25T08:06:00.000-07:002011-04-25T08:06:59.709-07:00NaPoWriMo Sonnet #25Dear Congress,<br />
<br />
Too many Americans are making love to <br />
birthday cakes & puff pastry & citrus<br />
I mean, I understand the need for "Variety" but <br />
having a "threesome" w/ a tangelo in one hand &<br />
a grapefruit in the other is just plain <em>lugnuts --</em><br />
or, if you will, consider the pastry's feelings<br />
the tenderness of the batter, the warmth of convection<br />
despoiled by pubic friction & the dumb grunt //<br />
Incarcerating the offenders would only turn them to<br />
more effective acts of courting pastry & citrus<br />
as they would "rehabilitate" w/ <em>hard</em> felons who<br />
have lemon-lime tattoos, phyllo dough tattoos //<br />
An American, dining alone, opposite a Bundt Cake<br />
is not an American dining alone, not anymore //<br />
<br />
Yrs, ConstituentDAN / DANIEL GUTSTEINhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11440571794661801261noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6247891487373208837.post-86871578333232084422011-04-24T08:20:00.000-07:002011-04-24T08:20:58.985-07:00NaPoWriMo Sonnet #24Dear Congress,<br />
<br />
Is it "Reflux" or is it "Heartburn"<br />
because one is a disease &<br />
one is a flavor &<br />
are we, as a society, demonizing flavor<br />
what's next, then -- Special Sauce as Disorder<br />
Doc, Doc, gimme the bad news &<br />
he's like "Stage Three Special Sauce" &<br />
you do NOT respect My Pathology //<br />
I ordered The One-Armed Drummer at<br />
the Sex Barbershop<br />
it was wild -- I saw a purple flash w/<br />
unexpected Rorschach blots before I was<br />
lowered & swiveled -- what a haircut! &<br />
behold the sound of one arm drumming //<br />
<br />
Yrs, ConstituentDAN / DANIEL GUTSTEINhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11440571794661801261noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6247891487373208837.post-7317315102155169222011-04-23T07:53:00.000-07:002011-04-23T12:28:51.958-07:00NaPoWriMo Sonnet #23Dear Congress, <br />
<br />
A telegram to Ma'am is not a Ma'ammogram &<br />
hardly, I am not sassing you<br />
"No Ma'ammogram"<br />
"Yes Ma'ammogram", etc., I am not<br />
getting on that Personal Hygiene Problem either<br />
would you quit diggin' them finger raisins? &<br />
Boston Irish imitations, too<br />
"<em>Ich bin ein Boogah Pickah</em>" ain't tensile, Dawgs //<br />
Bought me a 4-in-1 printer<br />
inkjet, fax, photocopy & Polygraph <br />
cause I want to print, fax, & copy the lie when I detect it<br />
y'all would give that machine a workout! & yet<br />
there you go again: "<em>Ich bin ein </em><br />
<em>Itchah Scratchah</em>" while the Debt soars //<br />
<br />
Yrs, ConstituentDAN / DANIEL GUTSTEINhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11440571794661801261noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6247891487373208837.post-15414546252518290872011-04-22T06:44:00.000-07:002011-04-22T06:46:01.805-07:00NaPoWriMo Sonnet #22Dear Congress,<br />
<br />
It's three thirty a.m. & time to wake up Murph <br />
from the sharpied-up payphone outside Pizza Pad<br />
"Hey Murph," we say & he says groggy "Gurph"<br />
we hear crash w/o glass cracking & distant "Yowch!"<br />
the sharpies say "Crotch Rot" they say "Caspa" &<br />
"Barry has been Gorilla Dicked on Tuesday by Dilly Boy" but<br />
we cross out w/ our own sharpie & write "by Murph" &<br />
we threaten Axe Kick & Murph hangs up on us //<br />
Murph always hangs up on us so we always call him back<br />
"Hey Murph," we say & he says groggy "Gurph"<br />
he says that he will make hamburger out of our faces<br />
(as we sharpie-in his phone number on the payphone)<br />
that he will avenge the Muslim Religious Foods Incident &<br />
"Who is this?" & we always say "This is your dream calling" //<br />
<br />
Yrs, ConstituentDAN / DANIEL GUTSTEINhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11440571794661801261noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6247891487373208837.post-54181140487809704032011-04-21T08:54:00.000-07:002011-04-21T09:31:29.200-07:00NaPoWriMo Sonnet #21Dear Congress,<br />
<br />
I caught the ugliest fish the cap'n had ever seen<br />
hook out its eye but bore that indignity w/<br />
a rather stolid (fishy) assessment of the sitch<br />
when we docked the cap'n met another cap'n for<br />
prostate dysfunction support group (i.e., shots of Jack)<br />
they threw the fish in a laundry basket "Over<br />
near the propane!" & that was the end of the fish //<br />
In the morning I poked it w/ a tire gauge &<br />
ugly bit the gauge teeth on metal grinding upward<br />
like FDR (only a fish) smoking a cigarette<br />
the cap'n chased me w/ a baseball bat toward the sea<br />
where I threw the fish still clenching the tire gauge<br />
maybe it gauged the pressures of its kind (true story) &<br />
thereby resembled the Futility of Our Age //<br />
<br />
Yrs, ConstituentDAN / DANIEL GUTSTEINhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11440571794661801261noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6247891487373208837.post-38248017892452547802011-04-20T08:48:00.000-07:002011-04-20T09:08:06.589-07:00NaPoWriMo Sonnet #20Dear Congress,<br />
<br />
How many Elvises is Flying Elvises &<br />
if you say "A lot of Elvises"<br />
could you please say "A lot of Elvises, Sir" or<br />
be specific: blotto Elvises, umpteen Elvises<br />
are there Multicultural Flying Elvises & by that I mean<br />
are there Ottoman Elvises, Sherpa Elvises<br />
Give 'em Helvises, Pelvises & Warcrime Elvises //<br />
It will take Potatoes to nourish all<br />
the Flying Elvises, it will require Flying Potatoes w/<br />
little parachutes to nourish all the Flying Elvises <br />
it is the bottom of the 8th w/ Joe Ronca at The Bat <br />
in Double A ballpark w/ night lights & indigestion <br />
here comes a slick of Elvises & Potatoes -- Flying -- airdropped<br />
it is America -- Normal -- & Our Only Hope //<br />
<br />
Yrs, ConstituentDAN / DANIEL GUTSTEINhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11440571794661801261noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6247891487373208837.post-60413202239249065452011-04-19T07:02:00.000-07:002011-04-19T07:02:22.359-07:00NaPoWriMo Sonnet #19Dear Congress,<br />
<br />
What is The Big Guy's Breakfast anymore but<br />
"cutting the <em>grilled</em> cheese" & awakening w/<br />
sweaty neck in tangle of bedclothes at pre-dawn intervals<br />
chopsticks everything chopsticks doing lines of drugs w/<br />
chopsticks everything chopsticks doing lines of<br />
<em>The Big Guy's Breakfast</em> -- then engaging in gratuitous acts of<br />
Personal Readjustment during staff meeting during<br />
buffet-style psychotherapy & passive aggressive motion simulator //<br />
Mockingbird versus Robin is like Beatlemania versus<br />
phoney Beatlemania (respectively) -- Hey, if it's "Oui" ("Yes")<br />
in French and if it's "Ja" ("Yes") among the Indo Germanic Tribes<br />
then "Ouija" is one of them double positives &<br />
a veritable "gorilla dicking" of the Spiritual Realm<br />
do you see Voters? oui/ja you see Voters you see OHIO //<br />
<br />
Yrs, ConstituentDAN / DANIEL GUTSTEINhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11440571794661801261noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6247891487373208837.post-31791486744052453682011-04-18T09:35:00.000-07:002011-04-18T09:35:06.251-07:00NaPoWriMo Sonnet #18Dear Congress,<br />
<br />
How about a National Irony Month <br />
to celebrate the sturdy ("irony") fiber<br />
of our starchy & beefy Peoples<br />
except that "High Concept" could muss<br />
the crisp lines of our national acumen<br />
in an Asshairs-to-Dingleberries kind of way<br />
"got enough irony in your diet?"<br />
could've been the (money!) motto //<br />
If someone who is "ill endowed" applies for<br />
an Endowed Chair in Any Discipline, then<br />
he (or she) must compensate, I'd say, by<br />
presenting a really fine Chair (swivel, rocking, etc.)<br />
to the Search Committee Members -- "Irony"<br />
they'd note & by that mean Starchy! //<br />
<br />
Yrs, ConstituentDAN / DANIEL GUTSTEINhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11440571794661801261noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6247891487373208837.post-24109802929425943982011-04-17T05:37:00.000-07:002011-04-17T05:59:39.088-07:00NaPoWriMo Sonnet #17Dear Congress,<br />
<br />
Who ate the last Nut Cluster?<br />
I was saving THAT & the duck sauce for<br />
my Sunday morning routine --<br />
Nena rockin' the 99 Luftballoons <br />
("...<em>mit</em> orders to identify <br />
to clarify <em>und</em> classify...") &<br />
Major Tom remake ("...<em>mit</em> hamster falling<br />
<em>und</em> falling hamster dooooooo...") //<br />
A job w/ Recess is fun, no?<br />
you get to run around like a pogrom &<br />
recede & spread Rogaine on each other's scalps<br />
there are crises O, there are crises like<br />
who ate the last Nut Cluster? <br />
I was saving that for LATER! //<br />
<br />
Yrs, ConstituentDAN / DANIEL GUTSTEINhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11440571794661801261noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6247891487373208837.post-4939593321200806782011-04-16T06:36:00.000-07:002011-04-16T06:36:02.554-07:00NaPoWriMo Sonnet #16Dear Congress,<br />
<br />
There's a FLY on my SLICE yo! &<br />
it's Fat Guy Night at the bar & grill<br />
two for one drinks if you tip the scale<br />
booby, blubba or blimpy-bounce<br />
man, they're raffling shit off, too --<br />
a high caloric Hey Bo Diddley &<br />
High Colonics, I've learned, are not<br />
lofty talkers descended from settlers //<br />
Yo! I did not order a FLY on my SLICE<br />
flies were not listed as condiments<br />
for slice, for pie, for pie chart & for<br />
H. Ross Perot NAFTA Lectureships --<br />
Now! See! <em>Gneow</em>! <em>Knee-ow</em>! & how<br />
our High Colonics have Obesefied //<br />
<br />
Yrs, ConstituentDAN / DANIEL GUTSTEINhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11440571794661801261noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6247891487373208837.post-61118555106944786902011-04-15T07:43:00.000-07:002011-04-15T12:38:27.367-07:00NaPoWriMo Sonnet #15Dear Congress,<br />
<br />
& the problem with America is (<em>flourish</em>)<br />
not enough Americans wetting each other's whistles<br />
oh, there are all kinds of products for what ails<br />
Whooping Cough Drops, Toe Jam Spoon &<br />
Valentine's Day Pepper Spray, for ex., but <br />
not enough Americans wetting each other's whistles<br />
we have moisture, correct? & we have GPS<br />
(to locate whistles) & we Americans can apply<br />
a variety of lubrications w/ expertise, in fact<br />
there may be an entire Lubrication Economy --<br />
grease up everything that hadn't been greased & <br />
by that I mean People Speaking Their Minds w/o<br />
Any Inhibitions, I mean grease the lubricant itself but<br />
I do NOT mean grease <em>your</em> fat palm (<em>exeunt</em>) //<br />
<br />
Yrs, ConstituentDAN / DANIEL GUTSTEINhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11440571794661801261noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6247891487373208837.post-65562925742024743052011-04-14T07:45:00.000-07:002011-04-14T07:48:18.939-07:00NaPoWriMo Sonnet #14Dear Congress,<br />
<br />
I have been experiencing Antisemitic Refill at<br />
bars, restaurants, lunch counters & burrito trucks<br />
I mean what the fuck? -- Gentiles get full Refill while<br />
I get three quarters? -- that's 25 pct. Antisemitic &<br />
let's take it further, Cuzzes, cause I want Equally Worse<br />
I want Gentiles to experience Antisemitic Refill of<br />
water vessel, beer mug, Spiritual Connection w/ Deity &<br />
All Flippin' Metaphorical Glasses of Anything! //<br />
Is the glass half full or is the glass half empty? Pffft.<br />
It's a Jew's glass, either way, because, Sports Fans<br />
it has suffered from (say it with me!) Antisemitic Refill &<br />
who drinks said portion of refill owed to the Semite?<br />
Come to think of it, who eats the 25 pct. of toastcakes &<br />
25 pct. of fishtaco & 25 pct. of pickled carrot NOT re-filled? //<br />
<br />
Yrs, ConstituentDAN / DANIEL GUTSTEINhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11440571794661801261noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6247891487373208837.post-6568079172186164412011-04-13T06:22:00.000-07:002011-04-13T06:30:01.358-07:00NaPoWriMo Sonnet #13Dear Congress,<br />
<br />
I'm not going to bring up Mike Tyson -- No,<br />
I'm not going to bring up Mike Tyson -- OH,<br />
ALL RIGHT: the time he met the Jewish American Princess &<br />
reacted as follows: "That goil wuth tho JAPPY<br />
it wuth lewdicrouth how JAPPY that goil wuth" <br />
he threatened to eat Lennox's children but<br />
ate Evander's ear instead does our Legislature intend to<br />
regulate the discoloration between his threats & his meals? //<br />
Boxer ear could be full of triglycerides for ex. or<br />
consider other Fats in Sport -- Minnesota Fats v.<br />
Florida Trans Fats in a friendly game of Snooker<br />
yeah Iron Mike was there, "Awww," he thaid, he thaid<br />
"That Flawwida Tranth Fatths really THNOOKID Minnethota Fatth<br />
it wuth lewdicrouth how THNOOKID that guy wuth!" //<br />
<br />
Yrs, ConstituentDAN / DANIEL GUTSTEINhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11440571794661801261noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6247891487373208837.post-17918701119296885262011-04-12T05:59:00.000-07:002011-04-12T05:59:38.697-07:00NaPoWriMo Sonnet #12Dear Congress,<br />
<br />
The time has come to hold Gluten Free Hearings<br />
in attendance: Glutens and Non Glutens alike<br />
(members from both tribes) &<br />
on the agenda -- radicalized Gluten plus<br />
militant Gluten in the thumb-crook of Michigan <br />
if unchecked could lead to British spellings of diarrhoea //<br />
Don't fear Gonorrhea -- it's just diarrhoea that's been flushed<br />
you know, it's been <em>gone</em> for a while<br />
you may experience a clapping sensation<br />
& if so, check out The Clapper on late night infomercial<br />
you can "Clap On" "Clap Off" the Clap (these days)<br />
should applause (i.e., The Clap) persist<br />
ain't nothing wrong w/ cruising the bad 'hood<br />
to score a dimebag of medicinal Gluten, eh? //<br />
<br />
Yrs, ConstituentDAN / DANIEL GUTSTEINhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11440571794661801261noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6247891487373208837.post-80739171567939909182011-04-11T10:27:00.000-07:002011-04-11T10:30:28.916-07:00NaPoWriMo Sonnet #11Dear Congress,<br />
<br />
America is no longer Top Titty at Wooing<br />
"Woo!" we go "Woo!" &<br />
beer is brought, bad beer<br />
whereas other cultures offer spouses<br />
(she-Boers & he-Boers, for ex.) upon "Woo!" of Citizen &<br />
foam-drink, foam-enlargement, foam-epiphany, as well //<br />
I first addressed this letter "Dear Fergus"<br />
"Woo!" it went "Woo!" but<br />
there wasn't much else to say<br />
I don't really know anybody named Fergus after all<br />
then someone brought me beer, bad beer &<br />
"the cloud of inferiority" lowered<br />
subtract "Woo!" from Wooing & it's a<br />
dark, dank, solitary day in our Bicameral Confinement //<br />
<br />
Yrs, ConstituentDAN / DANIEL GUTSTEINhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11440571794661801261noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6247891487373208837.post-22432832756571085172011-04-10T07:38:00.000-07:002011-04-10T16:03:00.438-07:00NaPoWriMo Sonnet #10Dear Congress,<br />
<br />
Please don't cancel The Free Noodle Exchange Program<br />
I'd like to trade my egg (noodle) for<br />
a broad (noodle) or maybe some AA batteries -- Or,<br />
I'd like to trade sitting in the tub w/<br />
egg noodles for sitting in the tub w/<br />
broad noodles (or AA batteries) -- do you know Ornette<br />
do you think Ornette Coleman noodled around<br />
in some of his Atlantic shit or what? //<br />
I'd like to exchange the fact that you don't know Ornette<br />
& his tenor & alto & trumpet & violin for<br />
a glass noodle soup w/ hi cholesterol & surly service -- Hey,<br />
how about some political <em>al dente</em> w/<br />
Noodles on both sides of the aisle clapping,<br />
clapping at long last some serious Bipartisan Buttock? //<br />
<br />
Yrs, ConstituentDAN / DANIEL GUTSTEINhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11440571794661801261noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6247891487373208837.post-81675677987709452442011-04-09T08:52:00.000-07:002011-04-09T12:55:25.969-07:00NaPoWriMo Sonnet #9Dear Congress,<br />
<br />
You could procure Fed Gov Inflatable Worker® complete w/<br />
Real Break Room Tendencies® & Real Chat Room Impulse® &<br />
Frequent Bouts of Loose Stool® ("Just Add Water™")<br />
now that The Shutdown® has been parried & anyhow subject it to<br />
The Shutdown® experience: Arrival of Ethnic Repo Man® &<br />
Arrival of Ethnic Deputy w/ Four Colour Order to Vacate® &<br />
Arrival of Ethnic Missionary w/ Mimeograph on Position® ///<br />
I dreamt that British Petroleum® was acquired by Chia Pet®<br />
in return for the Intellectual Property® accumulated by Madonna®<br />
when she Flirted® with Stieg Larsson Hologram® -- so real that I <br />
purchased Chia Gulf Oil Disaster® ("Just Add Water™" &<br />
"Watch It Grow™") w/ 3.5 pct APR® from Chia High Finance® but<br />
The Sad Regularity of American Life® punked my REM Cycle Chia® <br />
leaving me w/ Flaccid Accounts of Our Inflationary Peoples® ///<br />
<br />
Yrs, ConstituentDAN / DANIEL GUTSTEINhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11440571794661801261noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6247891487373208837.post-26912503416433855272011-04-08T05:49:00.000-07:002011-04-08T05:49:55.061-07:00NaPoWriMo Sonnet #8Dear Congress,<br />
<br />
I threw a jellybean from a second tier perch<br />
at Harbor Place into the cleavage of<br />
a heavy woman (think Janice Soprano) a tier below<br />
maybe a faint "click" as the bean wedged &<br />
the woman seized her heavy bosoms a-moaning<br />
I thought perhaps enraptured in the moment<br />
(the flavor, in my recollection, was Very Cherry)<br />
or she was moving that bean around her brassiere good<br />
"Oh!" she said, as she re-seized her bosoms<br />
a few (people) stared & a few (people) pointed<br />
but mostly malleted the fuck outta they crabs //<br />
Some fun, huh? // I was 12, Security chased me //<br />
I wanted you to know this story on the eve of<br />
The Shutdown, cause "it ain't no pleasure in life" huh? //<br />
<br />
Yrs, ConstituentDAN / DANIEL GUTSTEINhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11440571794661801261noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6247891487373208837.post-28923165013348706542011-04-07T11:50:00.000-07:002011-04-07T11:53:35.718-07:00NaPoWriMo Sonnet #7Dear Congress,<br />
<br />
I'm really worried about my Deity <br />
after the "evil weed" & "coital stew" incidents<br />
there have been fierce (saltwater) Boer attacks<br />
irradiation & scads of melancholy at sunset<br />
I'm sad, darkening is sad & the lowdose 81 mg<br />
(domestic) don't work against none of that shit //<br />
'Nuff about me, how hangs the Quorum? // Yeah //<br />
Anyway, I'm really worried about my Deity<br />
could you regulate? could you appropriate casual<br />
a graft or kickback or shwarma? (B-B-Q flav) <br />
(e.g., one for me, one for my Deity) //<br />
Throw some TARP at that shit if you gotta<br />
but if I don't have the proper Divine relationship<br />
I can't thank nobody for all the co-incidents in my life //<br />
<br />
Yrs, ConstituentDAN / DANIEL GUTSTEINhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11440571794661801261noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6247891487373208837.post-22607263722635360872011-04-06T06:30:00.000-07:002011-04-06T08:09:43.618-07:00NaPoWriMo Sonnet #6Dear Congress,<br />
<br />
Time to revise the Pyramid of Misery<br />
w/ 6 to 11 servings of general uselessness <br />
w/ 3 to 5 servings of furlough & 3 to 5 servings of<br />
chatty supervisor whose velveteen jogging getup<br />
doesn't mask his indie wealth & hirsute worldview //<br />
Also: 2 to 4 servings of angry ethnic cellphone call &<br />
2 to 4 servings of GPS failures such that Metrobus<br />
vanishes right before predicted arrival (kind of like<br />
Pyramid of Orgasm & Pyramid of Bright Ideas &<br />
Pyramid of Epiphanies, Mood Disorders & Sneezes //<br />
Continue to use nightmares sparingly, the one<br />
in which the Kartofel/Potatogruppen Soldaten <br />
advance w/ 50 russet magazines & fascist flatulence<br />
at Mach III those Potatogruppen will leave a Veldt //<br />
<br />
Yrs, ConstituentDAN / DANIEL GUTSTEINhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11440571794661801261noreply@blogger.com0