Dear Congress,


No, Reapportionment isn't a second helping of potato salad, and The Center isn't a care facility where Senior Cits congregate to play Kaluki, and Bicameral doesn't mean walking around with two photographic devices looped around one's neck. Let's be clear: the days of "Legislating Casual" are over, even Legislating Casual Fridays. You'll have to sacrifice your sacred vice, Opining on the sad sap of our repairs. Dough is to Bread as Money is to Money. Get it? The election results suggest that more Americans will be masturbating with their left hands come January, when the 111th version of you, Dear Congress, will be sworn at, I mean sworn-in. Will you behave like Statespersons, then, or Felons? The distinction, I agree, has muddied muddy. A Lame Duck hobbles, and a Lame Duck is a sad attempt to avoid a projectile, and a Lame Duck fancies itself in a time of Dearth. When Americans asked for salt of the earth you salted the earth. Indenture is to Adventure as Debenture is to Denture. Follow that logic when the alarms sound. (That's a joke).

Yrs,

Constituent

AMERICA HAS SPOKEN! (and it's a tie)

Poll #2: Which Supper Should Congress Place First in the National Supper Collider?

Moo Shu Porkbarrel 42%
Tenderloin Display 42%
Fatty Kuts 12%
Mac 'n' Cheez 4%